drewish.com

a new kind of bad

nick, mad that i dissed some movie about new york (and there fore perfect), sent me this link. the question i put to you is: what's the worst part about it?

his hair? the bandwagon patriotism? the blatant 9/11 imagery? that they let him into a school? the guns and roses outtakes strung into a song? angels? shots pulling back to reveal babies behind tombstones? that they bought out the flag store to make this video? that they let him near children?

bushido

all this time i though bush was just an ignorant morron. turns out i was wrong he's actually a follower of the ancient philosophy called bushido which translates roughly to "the way of the armchair warrior".

the best use for an office space script, EVER!

some dude went through and adapted the script of office space to use members of the bush administration. i give you oval office space. it's a total and complete riot. it actually makes up for how stupid office space was. i've got to include one of my favorite parts:

SCENE 8:
INT. WEST WING - DAY
Former ambassador JACK WILSON is seated nervously at his desk, listening to the radio. GEORGE W. BUSH strolls up in a Navy flight suit and stands by his desk, cup of coffee once again in hand.

BUSH: Heeeey Wilson. Whaaaat's happening. Listen, we're kind of behind the 8-ball with this weapons-of-mass-destruction thing, so I'm gonna need you to go ahead and make another trip to Nigeria, see if you can't uncover some other information that would indicate they were selling uranium to Saddam Hussein, m'kay?

WILSON: But...but I...

BUSH: That'd be greaaaat. Yeah. And, ahhhh, I'm also gonna have someone in Cheney's office leak to Robert Novak that your wife is an undercover CIA officer. We're kind of playing catch-up and everything, so I just gotta make sure the staff knows who's in charge. M'kay?

WILSON: But I...I believe you have my stapler...

BUSH: Super. Thaaaanks a bunch, Wilson.

BUSH strolls off, leaving WILSON all alone.

WILSON: OK, but I'm going to set the building on fire�

gawd i love npr

npr's new show, day to day, is a collaboration between npr and slate. opb finally picked up the show so i got to listen to one of the funniest things i've heard in a while today. it was the guy who says "this is npr" reading lines from movies nominated for academy awards. even better was the older bit where he read the lyrics to welcome to the jungle. it's the best four minutes you'll spend on the internet today.

irony

i was at my father's house (the resturaunt/bar) and ended up in a conversation about the meaning our irony and how one horrid song changed it's popular meaning. bill spaceman mentioned that there was only one instance of irony in said song. a quick google search turned up an excellent analysis of the lyrics.

beating an intervention

bill spaceman spent a chunk of the day trying to work out the next issue of bui but due to lack of sleep in my case and a severe hangover in his we just poked around on the internet instead. while bill was reading his email i picked up a copy of modern drunkard magazine a fine, focused publication if ever there was one. my favorite article in this issue was how to ace an intervention. i'd encourage all the drunks to go take a look.

body slamming for dean

i you had any doubts about how cool he was get this: al franken broke his glasses while taking out a larouche supporter who was trying to shout down dean at a rally.

the only kind of crafting i can support

subversive cross stich

good, funny japanimation

don park has some very funny screen caps from the japanese cartoon ebichu. it gets really good down around "what about her poor neglected left nipple"

something funny for dan

i got sent a link to a picture of this tattoo, for some reason it just reminded me of dan.

living off the land

here's a link dan will appreciate. a student at uc santa barbra set out to live off the suburbs for 80 days. he spear fished and gathered neighbor's fruit and vegetables but (strangely?) avoided dumpster diving in a journal entry writing:

If I had two more weeks here I'd have to reduce myself to the level of an animal, going through garbage bins at night, living in fear and hunger.

personally i find that kind of funny. after seeing the bounty that's left in grocery store dumpsters (people won't buy avocados once they're ripe so they just get thrown out). i'd call sneaking into people's yards to steal their prickly pears on the level of an animal... anyway cool article.

supply side jesus

i'd love to encourage everyone to go read the supply side jeusus comic strip from al franken's new book lies and the lying liars who tell them. it does a magnificent job of showing the hypocrisy of compassionate conservatism. (via boingboing.net)

paradise hotel

heather somebody-or-other who used to write for the ill-fated suck.com (oh how i miss it's biting commentary) has a review of paradise hotel up on salon that is so biting i'm actually tempted to watch the show.

doonsbury on starbucks

have you seen me?

let's all pitch in and help get those lost wepons found...

not really related to the old peple sex but...

oh thank you boing boing for providing me with this link. my favorite part:

Once inside, he wasted no time in taking what was rightfully his, pulling her close for a long, moist and humid kiss. Their tongues intertwined like snakes slithering in a dance of forbidden love. His well-trained hands ripped open her T-shirt and smoothly undid her bra with only minor help from her. Her pendulous breasts swayed in anticipation as his toothless mouth gummed her large, perpetually hard nipples to a near exploding peak.

it's enough to make me start checking nerve.com regularly again.

jack chick

i'd like to thank boingboing for pointing out a cool article about jack chick creator of the chick tracts. collect them all.

fixing up iraq

barcode switching

some artistic social hackers have put together a database of barcodes that you can print out and stick over those on the products so you can truely name your own price.

new get your war on

the new get your war on is up and it's as funny as it it sad.

presidential prayer team

looking though my server stats and saw some referrals from haplopia.com so i popped over and took a look. she had a link to one of the creepiest sites i've seen in a while, the presidential prayer team FOR KIDS. how fucking wrong is that? it's not a parody, check out their "adult" site. i thought the conservatives were full of shit with all that of stuff on the internet that's not appropriate for kids. how wrong i was, that site needs to be on every internet black list. i sure don't want kids at public libraries stumbling across stuff like that.

an excellent fotoshop friday

every week when the new fotoshop friday goes up dan sends out a link. most of the time they're pretty funny but this week's is amazing. go check it out.

who says war isn't funny

• operation liberate iraq collectibles
• the whitehouse has a newly redesigned webpage.

preflight checklist

this is making the internet rounds: it's the Vietnam 2 Preflight Checklist:

1. Cabal of oldsters who won't listen to outside advice? Check.
2. No understanding of ethnicities of the many locals? Check.
3. National boundaries drawn in Europe, not by the locals? Check.
4. Unshakable faith in our superior technology? Check.
5. France secretly hoping we fall on our asses? Check.
6. Russia secretly hoping we fall on our asses? Check.
7. China secretly hoping we fall on our asses? Check.
8. SecDef pushing a conflict the JCS never wanted? Check.
9. Fear we'll look bad if we back down now? Check.
10. Corrupt Texan in the WH? Check.
11. Land war in Asia? Check.
12. Rightists unhappy with outcome of previous war? Check.
13. Enemy easily moves in/out of neighboring countries? Check.
14. Soldiers about to be dosed with our own chemicals? Check.
15. Friendly fire problem ignored instead of solved? Check.
16. Anti-Americanism up sharply in Europe? Check.
17. B-52 bombers? Check.
18. Helicopters that clog up on the local dust? Check.
19. Infighting among the branches of the military? Check.
20. Locals that cheer us by day, hate us by night? Check.
21. Local experts ignored? Check.
22. Local politicians ignored? Check.
23. Local conflicts since before the USA has been a country? Check.
24. Against advice, Prez won't raise taxes to pay for war? Check.
25. Blue water navy ships operating in brown water? Check.
26. Use of nukes hinted at if things don't go our way? Check.
27. Unpopular war? Check.

Vietnam II, you are cleared to taxi.

if you only have time for one war site...

then check out iraq-o-meter every day.

quote that's making the rounds

"You know the world's gone mad when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the USA of arrogance and the Germans don't want to go to war!"

one pissed off cat

i'm not usually one for the cutesy links my mom forwards me but this one is different. tell me that isn't a funny picture of that cat.

more tales

ali davis, author of true tales of a porn store clerk, has a new piece in salon about another crappy job.

things my girlfriend and i argue about

well, actually they're not things that krista and i argue about, they're really things this english bloke and his crazy german girlfriend/wife argue about. so get a little time together and read through it, it's very funny.

bush's state of the union address

man somebody put together an amazing re-cut of bush's state of the union address. my only complaint is that it would have been much funnier if they'd been a bit more subtle. the editing was great, there were only one or two noticeable gaps in the audio.

one more pc case mod

how long 'til you see this on slashdot? it's a cigarette lighter adapter kit for your pc.

With this adapter kit, your PC can now do EVERYTHING a regular Cigarette Lighter can with no trouble at all. Charge cell phones, power cd players, you name it.

i'm assuming that it will light cigarettes too.

bar monkey

the bar monkey is a little piece of applied engineering at it's finest. put simply, it's a computer controlled vending machine that mixes drinks.

did you get a card from george?

bush sent out one million holiday greeting cards as part of what would look like a pay back for a campaign contribution from hallmark.

rhyming judge

this is a little old but i really got a kick out of the judge who delivered his opinion in rhyme.

i don't know if this should distrub me...

meet one of these very speical ladies "living in correctional facilities all over the united states. most are, understandably, very lonely[!]" just keep in mind those picture were probably taken before they went in. hehe

true tails

don't even ask what i'm doing up at this hour i've been telling myself that i'm going to sleep in 10 minutes for the last 4 hours. okay the real reason is i've been up reading the blog of a clerk at a porn store.

a little humor about the mideast

arabs slyly building wall around israel.

funny link

man, with more math teachers like this, it would have been my favorite subject.

get your war on

i think i posted this back in the day but the guy keeps updating it and it keeps getting funnier with age. go get your war on

dude, new herbert kornfield

yo yo yo, the muther f-ing h-dog is back in the hizous. it's enought to make me start checking theonion.com again.

satirewire scores

satire wire's take on the mailbox bomber.

cyber lovah

dan send me a link to herb zipper's film how to be a cyber lovah.

when did the onion get funny again?

the onion--a who's satire has declined in quality for the last year or so--actually has a pretty cool article today: Nevada To Phase Out Laws Altogether. maybe it's just because i live here.

ohh man they hit again: 37 Record-Store Clerks Feared Dead In Yo La Tengo Concert Disaster. i guess you have to live with some rock talking fools for it to make sense. look at that second picture, the second clerk from the left on the top row looks just like brad bynum (okay with a hair cut).

mideast humor

oh so while i was on the internet making sure i'd be able to use my calculator on the test i came across this little gem. (don't ask how i got over there when i should have been studing). as always satire wire cuts to the heart of current events: bush calls for mideast truce so u.s. can attack iraq.

choice quote: sharon suggested bush seek approval from arab nations by blowing up arab nations, while arafat suggested the president could get his way by blowing up himself.

poor britney

aparently britney spears and that back street boy she was dating broke up because she wasn't "putting out".

is it man or beast?

oh man i wish i'd thought this up. a guy i work with just passed along a link to the female or shemale quiz.

libya, china and syria form

libya, china and syria form an axis of just as evil

i've been telling everyone how

i've been telling everyone how much i want to play metal gear solid 2 for the last couple of weeks. as a result dan just directed me to this link

pretty girls=coke

so pretty girls really do do the same thing to your head as coke.

funny with flash

straight from the big gink himself: pong

tonight: natallie rishe's art show (with free beer) and then harry potter.

czech ads

what the fuck were those funny czechs are advertising

bert bin laden

it's bert, okay so this is sooo two weeks ago but it's funny that it's hitting the main stream.

you've got to respect hicks

you've got to respect hicks with a pickup truck